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Is Rihanna ready for the New Internet?

As I look out of the window of the Famous Four Media office, I can tell you that it’s a warm and sunny day here today. In all honesty, it’s usually sunny in Gibraltar even during the bleakest of February mornings. But despite the beautiful weather, it’s the day I least look forward to every week – Technical meeting day!

Once a week, whether we need it or not, I resolutely make my way down to ‘Technical corner’ aware that, with every step I take, it’s getting just a shade gloomier. What is it about Techies that make them fear the light? With all of the blinds down, the technical office is in permanent darkness only punctuated by the glow of over-sized monitors, displaying text that’s way too small, in mismatched fluorescent colors that would make an online marketer weep with despair. Its occupants scurry around like naked mole rats, clearly using senses other than sight to navigate the vast array of desks loaded with boxes, wires, keyboards and other computer paraphernalia too complicated to identify.

“What’s going on?” I ask Famous Four Media’s Great Wizard of Internet Stuff (G-WIS). I can see from his frown, illuminated by the pale glow from one of his many monitors that something is clearly up.

“We’re all worried about Rihanna!” He replies, clearly flustered. “We’ve been discussing it all morning and we’re not sure she’ll get her name in Sunrise.”

Evidently NOT www.rihanna.webcam

Now I don’t profess to know a lot about Internet nerdism but I do know one thing: all of them, without exception, consider Rihanna to be the hottest thing since WiFi.

“Oh is that all!” I cry, thankful that it is nothing serious, such as our websites going down or that our wireless toaster is burning the toast. Clearly I’ve said the wrong thing.

“But that means someone else might get Rihanna.webcam!” Exclaims another techie, distraught.

In order to calm him down, I explain about the Trademark Clearing House (TMCH). It’s actually quite straightforward, when a registry launches, it is obliged to start off in what is called the Sunrise Phase. In this phase only trademark holders, with names lodged in the TMCH, are allowed to register a domain name matching their mark exactly.

“So,” I continue, “if Rihanna wants to make sure that only she gets www.rihanna.webcam, all she has to do is pop her Trademark in the TMCH and wait for the .WEBCAM registry to launch. Then bingo she grabs rihanna.webcam!”

“Does she have a trademark?” I ask the G-WIS slyly, trying to catch him out

“I don’t know ,” he says simply, turning back to his screen. “I’ll ask her.”